Empathy - can you learn it?
It’s been a while since I posted anything but I have been busy thinking about Empathy. I have been lucky enough to deliver a series of Empathy workshops and I never cease to find it rewarding to unpack what empathy means to different people. For individuals in customer service, it seems obvious that you would try to put yourself in your customer’s shoes - it’s a mantra that has been around for a long time - but what does that really mean? When the types of customer issues that you encounter feel very similar day-in-day-out I can appreciate that it could be tempting to assume you know the answer to the customer’s issue.
But empathy goes beyond sorting out the transactional query and, where appropriate, trying to listen and understand if there is something more significant going on that is affecting the customer. Does the customer sound distressed or anxious? Are you picking up other emotional signals? Time is often the enemy when you are working in a busy customer-facing role, but taking a little bit of extra time to probe might help a customer feel a bit better even if you can’t always solve their problem straight away. So what can you do?
Some people come across as naturally empathetic, but you can also apply some simple techniques that will work wonders to strengthen your empathy ‘muscle’. Here are a few suggestions:
Listen and ask open questions - don’t be afraid to leave silences and let the person speak
If a customer is in ‘rant’ mode - try to break in (politely) and clarify what you have heard. By asking them a question, their brain will have to change tack!
Really listen attentively - even if you think it’s the same old problem you have heard 100 times before, there could be something else that you miss if you apply ‘selective listening’
Try to pick up emotional signals - is this the kind of person who wants a lot of detail and to feel that they are in control? If they are, offer them suggestions and make them feel they are owning the solution
Remember that, in a work context, it’s not personal. You have been employed as a professional to do a job and to represent your organisation. Do the best you can but don’t allow yourself to be sucked into the customer’s emotional zone - especially if they are angry or confrontational.
Sometimes taking an extra 30 seconds or a minute is all that is needed to lower a heightened emotional state and by asking questions and really listening you will come across as being more empathetic.
